


Lost Memories

by Ursa_99



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Attempt at angst, Bellarke eventually, Genetic Modification, Maybe interesting if I ever finish, OC, OOC, Slow Burn, cockroaches for the win
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2020-01-05 10:24:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 21,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18364130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursa_99/pseuds/Ursa_99
Summary: Clarke knew she’d pay someday for her actions, but she didn’t expect it to be from the flamekeepers. No she expected Echo to come after her again or Octavia to slit her throat in her sleep, hell maybe one of Spacekru; but never did she think she’d be staring down the barrel of a flamkeeper’s gun…again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shouldn't really be writing this since 1) college is killing me and i do not have the time 2) i haven't finished my other writings, i don't need to start one if i'm going to just stop.
> 
> That being said, i wanted to try and make the characters crack, also who doesn't love genetic modification

Clarke knew she’d pay someday for her actions, but she didn’t expect it to be from the flamekeepers. No, she expected Echo to come after her again or Octavia to slit her throat in her sleep, hell maybe one of Spacekru; but never did she think she’d be staring down the barrel of a flamkeeper’s gun…again.

Oh, the irony, the first grounder to ever really use a gun was a flamekeeper.

Only this time, thank all the gods that may or may not be around that Madi was in camp and wouldn’t take a hit that was meant for her.

The bullet would just be for her, and no one else would get hurt.

The sharp pain of her bruised head skewed her vision, the four barrels pointing at her quickly becoming eight. Despite knowing she deserved this, Clarke was furious at what the flamekeepers did to bring her to this remote part of the forest.

It was six months since she and Bellamy were woken and tasked with not only watching Jordan but leading the rest of humanity. _Again_.

She wouldn’t lie, it would a have been better to have died in Eden then to deal with those who she once knew to be family; when everyone first woke there was awkwardness and tension, but when they heard the news of Monty and Harper it was like they all switched to some other persona, there was only anger in Spacekru’s eyes save for Bellamy and even then there were underlining anger rifts. Clarke couldn’t tell at what though, she couldn’t read him anymore.

Raven refused to talk to her and when she needed something it was always with a hatred that seemed to only reserved for her, the same eyes that glared at her when Clarke was forced to make that stupid list and when A.L.I.E overtook Raven’s body.

Echo just wanted her dead, but that wasn’t any different than before praimfaya, nor was the hatred misplaced.

Emori was the least mad, and wouldn’t automatically leave the room, she just seemed indifferent in most cases, but that might be because Murphy was the worse and the maddest. Clarke understood they were hurting, both from her betrayal and the deaths of two of their kru; but Murphy was always the one who seemed to understand her the most, to know what it’s like to have everyone kicking you down and having the world chasing your back ripping its claws down your throat.

Now? Now he would lash out at her, scream at her for every little thing be it a mistake that was hers or someone else’s. Mad that she couldn’t kill McCreary fast enough, couldn’t remove Octavia from her throne, that she didn’t stay behind to burn again.

And it _hurt_.

It hurt to have her fellow cockroach not understand, to not even try. To have the closest thing to a brother leave. To ask her to die.

She had few saving graces; one was Jordan who just like his parents hatted fighting and for some reason preferred her quietness against the other’s.

Surprisingly Shaw and Diyoza were another and probably her closest friends at this point. It was weird and different as they went from the whole trying to kill one another to eh, could be worse. She along great with Shaw who forgave her pretty easily for both times she almost got him killed, he was still a tad salty for what she let happen to Raven, but he understood saying something about wishing he had a mother like her in a quiet passing and having seen war before. He only laughed at her confusion when she tried asking what he meant, but he said to her on which account and that everyone made mistakes, it’s the reasons for why we do them that’s important, so she was “okay” in his books.

Diyoza, well…she was Diyoza, the woman enjoyed her discomfort just as much as she enjoyed seeing the peace that would happen when she would walk into the room and most others would scatter leaving her and Diyoza to the whole room. Telling stories of the past, no far different and yet still the same.

But then again, Diyoza couldn’t read her completely and she couldn’t read the old ex-Seal back. They were mutual outcasts that understood and just watched. It was a hard restart from all pasts and helping prep her for delivering Hope and the actual delivering seemed to gain her ‘brownie points’ from the woman.

Maddi was the best of all. It wasn’t pretty at first, she was one of the last persons Bellamy and her decided to wake and once he left to give them peace and space to talk it was like a whole other war; words were said on both sides just as much as tears were, Clarke understood how controlling she was and that she could have done more to work with Bellamy while Maddi admitted to complicating matters and that she knew the only reason why she left Bellamy to die was because she felt abandoned and backed into a corner…but when all was said and done Maddi said she didn’t need forgiveness because there was nothing to be forgiven.

It wasn’t the first time that Clarke wanted to give the girl the entire world, nor will she ever understand how she was lucky enough to get such a gift as her.

Clarke could feel herself smiling despite the concussion that no doubt wouldn’t leave.

After she and Maddi hashed things out bare on what they thought, and about what happened they’d watched the new world’s suns raise and fall, crying for their lost home and what could have been. No one disturbed them for the entire day.

Not even Murphy’s anger got to her that day or the two after that.

Clarke’s inner analysis was smashed from her mind, the end of a gun ramming her thoughts away.

“Wanheda” one of the flamekeepers hissed, “you are a distraction that Heda can’t afford to have in these unstable times, you are relieved of your duties of guardian, may you rest with the souls you have damned”

One of his friends tied the chains tighter around the tree, yards and yards of chain kept her bound and unable to reach her gun.

Her anger was starting to resurface, the memories of Lexa dying in her arms because of the blind faith in the flame, of these flamekeeper who knocked her out when she was in the middle of a surgery while her mother and Jackson were fighting some flu like disease, that was ravaging the _their_ people _,_ in the quarantine area on the far side of camp.

Some poor bastard was still laying on her table, bleeding out from big piece of sheet metal that fell from one of their more poorly constructed buildings and into his soft fleshy thigh.

A flamekeeper dumped fuel around her, not daring to get closer than was necessary, besides why make it quick when the object of your hate was right in front of you and you could watch it burn slowly. The path was nor more than a big circle around her tree and a few others, the trail to set her ablaze lead over the hill on to the other side.

If Clarke was to be honest, she’d be proud that the grounders were starting to learn how other things worked, like starting flames from actual fuel, but it was always incumbered by the thought of even more trouble arising. Who’s to say the grounders wouldn’t try retaliating against Eligius and cause another war?

The containers, now empty, were flung at her feet; she would not burn like in praimfaya, she would not burn from the inside out. No, it will be millimeter by millimeter, only expediated by the fuel that was laid in tracks around her. She would not melt from the inside, she’d char, break apart, then char again.

A dementedly curious thought popped up in her mind, she wondered how long it would take her to burn with the lack of fuel actually on her.

The smallest flamekeeper stepped before her, hesitant, she was someone slightly younger than Maddi and the only flamekeer that resembled Gaia somewhat, whom Clarke noticed was not actually here for some reason—maybe she didn’t know—but this person before her was still a kid in Clarke’s eyes. The girl held up a knife to Clarke before slashing over the bridge of her nose and running down half her cheek.

Black rain fell.

“Jus drein jus daun”, Clarke could see the tears in the younger girl’s eyes and hear a crack in her young voice, but her face was determined despite the evident dislike of hurting the mighty Wanheda who was tied to a tree.

The girl stabbed the knife in the ground before Clarke, the black blood seeping into the ground, Clarke watched the girl through quiet tears walk back with the others towards camp, it was agonizing minutes to see their figures turn smaller and smaller. She tried to escape, looking up every couple of minutes, to see where the flamekeepers’ back were. Finally, with the last head of her tormentors disappearing over the hill, the floodgates were opened. Clarke watched the fire claw toward her, fueled by the ghastly liquid around her.

There was no whoosh of air like in the old movies or laugh filled burning hands that ripping her apart like in her dreams, nor was it the deafening thunderous booms of praimfaya. Instead it was a quiet and fast crawl of flames streaking through the forest.

Clarke leaned back against the tree, the words of T.S. Eliot singing in her head.

‘This is the way the world ends,

This is the way the world ends,

This is the way the world ends,

Not with a band, but with a whimper’

She didn’t see the metallic muzzle of her stolen rifle, nor the silencer she crafted. Clarke only saw something come at her through the fire, then nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

“Do you think it was one of ours?”

She glanced around the destroyed room, only the table and the immediate area had anysigns of a struggle. The rest of the room just held drawings of earth, before and after the first apocalypse to sooth the patients that Clarke would get.

“No”

She didn’t move but she let her eyes roam for anymore signs, lots of her man’s blood stained the ground and parts of the surrounding wall.

The sheet metal from his leg out, the makeshift cauterizing tool broken on the ground, what happened here wasn’t an accident no doubt.

It was a small comfort that the man who laid draped on the table died in his sleep, his thigh clotted with pus and dried blood, the gaping wound not even a little sealed. Part of her wished he’d woken up screaming bloody-hell so they could’ve heard.

Her blood was hot when she first smelled the tent, but now it was a full-on boil.

Diyoza glared at the body on the table the flies buzzing around her unaware of the danger they were in for favor of the rotting flesh.

The smell was rancid but not unfamiliar.

She’d gone to Clarke for advice on Hope, fearing her child may have contacted the disease that killed three of their people so far, but neither she nor Shaw had seen her in passing. Diyoza didn’t dare ask Spacekru, that was a landmine waiting to blow, none of them wanted anything to do with Clarke, her, or their Red Queen. Except for Bellamy, at least with the blonde that is, but he put himself on a leash for some reason, just out of reach and never quite touching her.

The small blonde with the personality of a super nova didn’t show with her and Shaw to their little story time nook for their tales of the past. Nor did she spar with Octavia as she and Hope watched like they quickly became accustomed to.

One day Hope started vomiting nonstop and it was impossible for the kid to drink, so she sent one of her men to fetch Abby, turns out that Hope didn’t have the sickness that plagued the camp and gave Hope an IV, she also found out that Abby hadn’t seen her daughter.

That was five days ago.

Diyoza turned away releasing the tarp obstructing the festering and decaying body before her. She looked to Shaw who continued to glare at the tent.

“Let’s go”

His eyes shot to hers.

“We’re going to do nothing about this!” He opened the foul-smelling tent back up pointing around, “She was taken, Diyoza. One of the last doctors, one of the best survivors, and one of the only reasons Hope is alive”

Diyoza fiddled with her gun making sure all parts were greased and accounted for.

She didn’t need to be reminded that her daughter, or herself for that matter, almost didn’t make it through childbirth.

“I never said we were letting it go, but if we don’t handle this correctly then there could be—”

“Another war”

The young man nodded releasing the tarp to stand next to her overlooking their little abode on this world. They were outnumbered even if they weren’t outgunned, but they also had nowhere else to go. If they destroyed each other that was one thing, but there’re plenty of chemicals and weapons left on the ship to destroy this one too.

Six months, it took six months till there was a murder, well…at least that they know of.

The cock of her gun ran between them.

Silence.

“Will it ever stop” he asked.

She shrugged, “We can only hope”

Shaw released a sardonic laugh almost sounding like a whine at the end, “We’ve hoped a long time”

She nodded, “We have”

There was a silence between them.

“You going to tell Abby” he asked. Shaw raised a brow when he heard his colonel snort, “Only if you tell Maddi”

He felt a shiver go down his spine, despite the situation he couldn’t help but mimic the crazed grin the older woman had. All the Griffins were overprotective of the other, and he prayed he never found himself on the brunt of the receiving end of their anger, just the edges almost got him killed and he liked breathing.

“I think I’d prefer another war”

Diyoza nodded in sympathy, “Got that right, not even _I_ want to go against a Griffin again”

“You went against two and still came out alive”

She snorted, “They didn’t _want_ to hurt me, well…at least not as much as McCreary”

Shaw frowned, he’d hated that man, but even so he wished Hope would have a father figure to look to, though her mother _was_ capable of many things, he didn’t think Hope needed to learn how to overthrow governments just yet.

“Yeah, but he was human”

Diyoza drawled, “Maybe that was his problem”

They trailed off in thought.

What more could be said, humans have had how many chances now, and they still managed to fuck them all up.

The silence hung around just a bit more.

“I’ll get a bag”.

Shaw nodded once and began to move, “I’ll get the shovel”


	3. Chapter 3

They called a meeting after their man was given a ‘proper burial’, during the night on the farthest reaches of camp just to make sure no one noticed yet; they also stationed several of their most trusted around the tent mixing them into the crowd. It was a safety precaution that they hoped wouldn’t be needed, but with just waking up from cryo it was like the war just ended and not 125 years passing.  There were still tensions waiting for another fight to break, with the people around they couldn’t be too careful.

Diyoza wasn’t sure how Spacekru or Wonkru would react, accusations will be thrown but she’d like to keep it to only fists at the most when this meeting went south. Unlike last time she wasn’t willing to throw bullets around willy nilly.

She sat in the chair generally reserved for Wonkru’s _Heda_ with Hope bouncing on her leg. Shaw quirked a brow but didn’t say anything.

“What” she defended feeling his want to say something, “just because I don’t want blood doesn’t mean I don’t want to see them get mad, isn’t that right Hope. Let’s give the bastards what they deserve, a good fire under their butt”

Shaw refrained from hitting his head against the wall, “making friends and amends isn’t your strong suit”

“Neither is keeping liars alive” she tossed out with a smile.

“We don’t know they did it”, but even to his own ears he sounded skeptical that it was anyone else but their cohabiters.

He watched her tuck Hope into her arms, the little babe’s eyes already drooping with exhaustion. Shaw wondered how the newborn would do on this world, and especially this meeting, but maybe that’s why Diyoza brought her along to keep the rest quiet as they argued…or it was because Clarke was the only one to really babysit the kid because no one wanted to deal with one of the snakes that destroyed the valley.

“No, but I found this” The colonel’s voice brought him out of his thoughts.

She handed him a piece of paper, one of Clarke’s many drawings, but this time it was tainted with infinity. Many, many infinities.

“Okay, whoever let poor Sal bleed out decided to vandalize some of Clarke’s paintings…so what? We find whoever likes to go around with black paint and draws squiggly lines haphazardly”

She just glanced at him as if she was bored, “Not paint, try again”

Shaw frowned before looking at the painting closer, it was of the valley before they landed. Clarke’s home was beautiful, dangerous most definitely even without more than two humans, but beautiful none the less…but the infinities destroyed the image.

Much like they did to the valley.

He ran his hand over the paper, one of the few things of his time that they had surprisingly large amounts of. There wasn’t much use for walls of paper stacks with prisoners before he helped Diyoza takeover, ever since there had been _less_ use for them. Hell, the paper was practically useless to everyone here besides Abby and Jackson who were trying to teach others and make list of what they had or needed. The only other person who used it was Clarke and possibly that Jordan kid.

Flakes of the black stuff cracked and fell away, folding the paper he checked for any other shards. The red and green berry juice Clarke often used tore with the paper but the black continued to flake off.

He looked at Diyoza, an idea forming in his head of what she was trying to lead him to. She only looked at the paper and then back at him, with a look that said _well?_

He spit on the paper twice, the greenish red juice taking time to soak in before it started blending every so slightly, but he didn’t need to see that, instead he focused on the black. Something kept nagging in the back of his head, like he was on the tip of this little guessing game.

The flakes were floating on his spit like little boats and a few bigger icebergs, but they didn’t blend like the berry juice with a little rubbing.

He remembered Diyoza asking for the first aid kit when they had Clarke tied up in their ship back in Eden. Clarke had several gunshot wounds and wouldn’t talk, doing everything to keep Maddi out of their grasps.

The more he thought about it the more he marveled at what the young woman was capable of.

Most import part of the memory though was that Clarke’s blood was black.

“Figured it out yet” she asked when she saw his shift, voice dangerously low, not at him but still sending the hairs on his arm on end in caution.

Shaw put the paper on the makeshift table disgusted not at the blood but the thought about their little search coming to such an abrupt end, or more likely what they might find.

“Guess we didn’t catch this when we were dealing with Sal…how much was there, should we ask Maddi separately if you think it’s one of Wonkru? Is there enough to track...do you think Clarke is dead?”

Diyoza pulled off her vest and placed it around Hope so the young child was cocooned on the table in the protective material.

“I don’t know if it’s new or old, things were moved after we took the body and I _know_ it wasn’t us who moved the objects around the room” her voice was oversaturated with anger. The thought of someone slipping by her no doubt a sore spot for the ex-soldier. “As to if our blonde Griffin is dead, then no. If she lived with these bastards _and_ lived through a fiery irradiation storm marooned on a dead planet for six years, I’m going with no…but sometimes life is far crueler than death”

Shaw watched the woman run a hand over her throat the long scar glaring in the semi-lit tent. He could understand where she was coming from, Shaw always thought it funny that people hated death as it was an inevitable part of life. Death was the only constant, life—life was either the best or the worst, sometimes it’d change how it felt like a ball going down a steep hill, there were ups and downs but the farther it continued the bigger each up was and the deeper each down became until it was completely spiraling out of control.

Besides death gave life that much more meaning despite how sporadic it was at times.

Shaw moved to give the woman a hug or tell her something comforting like how she used to back in their mining days but was interrupted by their first guests.

Surprisingly it was Abby and Jackson, both taking off extra layers to prevent the few doctors and healthy people from getting sick, Shaw quickly yanked the image off the table, hoping to spare the mother for a moment before telling her that her daughter was missing and possibly injured, or worse.

“How’s Hope” Abby asked struggling to take off one of their smaller, even for her, doctor uniforms.

“Feeding again” Diyoza clipped, there was no malice to her words, but he could feel the same tension growing in her that was curling in his gut.

The best course of action would be to rip this band aid off fast, hard, and with no warning.

 

They waited for the rest making small talk with the two doctors, skirting around any questions regarding to the meeting that Diyoza called.

Shaw waited for a spark that would start this powder keg.

“Look what hell spit up”

Shaw glared at Murphy, the pompous bastard striding forward. Well, at least he knew who was going to start the fire.


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing that could be felt was a burning surrounding her, hugging her till her lungs screeched for air.

But she couldn’t.

Then cool air penetrated her lungs giving her oxygen, but it was to cold, like a blizzard ripping down her esophagus.

Several somethings skittered up and down her body, but she couldn’t tell if they were real or not. The feelings were to light and soft or may it way just her imagination because whatever it _possibly_ was wasn’t cold or hot. It was just _there_.

There was a muffled sound surrounding her.

She tried to speak to it, hoping it was a person, to ask what was going on or where she was but she couldn’t. Her mind screamed for her lips to move but her body wouldn’t compute the process.

She tried again, but nothing.

She tried her arms, her legs, twisting.

Nothing.

No movement, no sound.

Panic spiked through her blood, willing—begging her body to move; but no matter how hard she tried she was uncapable of moving her body.

A depressing thought drifted into her mind, what if could never move again. Stuck only to be able to feel the bare minimum besides the fire around her and the ice pushed into her.

She heard the mutterings again but this time from different sides of the room, the already light presses against her getting lighter—maybe they _were_ just her imagination.

But then something sharp nicked her arm, she was still unable to cry out at the aggressor. From the size it felt like a needle, but she couldn’t be sure. Up was down, left was right, and the mumblings were probably no more than the breathing of whatever cell she found herself into now.

The pull of sleep started dragging her down into a void.

There was a crack from her clogged senses, somewhat, just a couple of seconds as her mind descended into the void. Not enough for her to be hounded over the head but just the littlest to make out something.

“She’s stabilizing and going back under—” There was some sort of crash or shaking of metal? The voice got farther away, “Shut it you mangy mutts, or it’s back to the boiler!”

She tried to imagine what the voice was talking about, but sleep grabbed her before she could conform some sort of solid thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Murphy had been talking shit about everything and anything when Madi was the last to arrive to Diyoza’s meeting, flanked by Gaia and Indra; any later and the kid would have found Spacekru or Murphy dead in a ditch, it was ridiculous to see their animosity, as if they didn’t kill people themselves. One thing Diyoza hated more than liars were idiots who couldn’t see what was obviously in front of them.

At _least_ fifteen strait minutes of the boy ranting about every little detail that wasn’t going his way; if this is how he was trapped on their little Ark ring she’d have to give the rest of Spacekru some respect for not…what was the term Clarke used—floating?—yeah, she wouldn’t have put up with _any_ of that.

Diyoza was _this_ close to popping a cap up the cockroach’s ass to stop his most recent rant about the suns hurting his eyes almost as much as the looks of her people.

Madi looked bored with their squabbling, ignoring completely that Diyoza had her hand around Murphy’s neck.

“What’s this about Diyoza, is McCreary’s men revolting already”

Diyoza eyed the second youngest person in the room, she looked like a spitting image of her mother, exhaustion and strain everywhere, with a heavier foot in the grave than the one on the grass behind. She wanted to ram her head against the table, well more like Murphy’s…she knew Clarke’s kid was special just based off the few stories the blonde told, but this Madi was always _off_ , but she’d only really met the kid after the flame contraption was put into her head.

The feeling never seemed to dissipate from her, always rubbing her the wrong way when the kid would usher some of her men off to do who knows what.

From the stories that Clarke told of her time with the flame it would seem those fears were coming to light, the young girl before her looked more like a phantom than anything else. There was no rock to keep her from drifting off into her head of voices anymore.

“How’s it going little Griffin” Diyoza gave her signature smile, all she had to do was get them riled a bit and let their anger talk for them. The girl before her frowned be it from Diyoza’s tone or that her chair was taken.

“It’s _Heda_ to you, now what are we here to discuss about. And get out of my chair”

Guess it was the chair. Diyoza took out one of Clarke’s paintbrushes that was no more than a stick and small cuts of her own hair glued together with some sort of sap.

She painted the infinity on the table, “Recognize this”

She pointed to the image that was already starting to stain the table, the young leader looked over curious to what she was doing, but a spark of recognition crossed the younger girls’ eyes as they locked onto the blonde brush in her hand.

“What are you doing with Clarke’s brush”

Diyoza leaned back into the chair, holding the brush up to the dim light. She wondered how the kid would react if she broke it in front of her. Maybe she’d toss it in the fire and let it burn.

“I asked a question” she drawled easily.

Madi’s frown deepened before looking to Gaia, the confusion evident on both their faces.

“It’s a symbol, sacred to our people, it’s of our faith” replied Gaia, “Now if this is why you called us here, then it’s a waste of time and Heda needs to get back to her training she’s come a far way”

Diyoza growled at the flamekeeper, “The _training_ can wait, murder has hit camp; one of _my_ men is dead while another on of my persons is _missing_ , and these symbols were written everywhere. Now what have your people done”

“Why didn’t you say anything till now” questioned the girl that Shaw kept tripping for. Raven was her name if memory served correct.

“Because screaming murder and pointing fingers is the best way to handle things” The other woman flushed with irritation at the sarcasm of the soldier.

“And you’re doing what exactly, colonel” Raven challenged back, unaware of the soldier slipping the safety off on the gun in her boot.

Jordan sat down to Diyoza’s right, looking over the picture ignoring Emori and most others around.

“Woah, how do we know it wasn’t infighting from your people, they could have just as easily studied Wonkru traditions and fabricated it”

Shaw let out a laugh gaining everyone’s attention, they’ve never seen the more cynical side of him that would come out when he was with Diyoza. Good to know some secrets could still be held no matter how small they were.

“Not to be mean, but most of our Eligius personnel couldn’t tell the difference between left and right on a good day. Great with physical man power and guns, and the total soldier mentality, but what they have in bruit strength they lack in cognitive awareness”

“With a few exceptions” Diyoza offered.

“Yes, with a few exceptions” he amended, “Nothing like adding desperation to scared people”

“Then you admit that some of your people are capable of such actions” challenged Echo.

Diyoza smirked at the spy who she still couldn’t tell was working an angle or simply incompetent.

“Such honesty Echo, and yet could we not say the same about Wonkru…but wait if they had half the pea sized brain my idiots had, then we’d still be in Eden”

Echo unsheathed her sword, edge down to the floor but it was enough of a promise that she meant business, “Eden is destroyed _because_ of your people”

But Diyoza lifted an eyebrow, pointing her finger to the side just so for Shaw to see the command to get closer to Hope. If there was going to be a fight it sure as hell wasn’t going to be her kid’s blood that’s spilled.

“It takes at least two conflicting sides to have a war, Echo. Don’t forget _Blodreina_ didn’t agree to terms nor make her own besides the ol’ this land is mine now speech”

Murphy’s hunched form appeared slightly over the table, “You fired the first shot, it’s on you”

Maybe the man wasn’t as drunk as they thought he was.

Murphy gripped the table with shaking hands, shooting a fist in the air for his achievement before falling back over.

Or not.

She shook her head, “On technicality it was your little _Heda_ here who fired at one of my scouts”

The young leader was sitting on other side of the table from her, head resting in an open palm, frowning. Always frowning now.

“ _Your_ men who you let trample through my valley, your men who trashed the village Clarke and I built for _six_ years waiting for Bellamy and the rest to come down; and it was _your_ men who helped you keep demands unfair to the rest”

Diyoza leaned forward elbows pressing against the table, hands folded and supporting her head. This kid may be Clarke’s but the person she was talking to now was the sum of who knows how many fractured minds blaring away inside the girl’s head.

“You talk of fairness as if your people offered their own, yet you backed a side just as willing to destroy the other om the only survivable land, there is a dangerous pride that you are letting fester in that little head of yours”

Diyoza sneered at the small leader, they could all see what this flame was doing to the kid, be hell or highwater she’d force the others to live with what they’d let go on.

“Tell me, Madi do you know _who_ you are?”

The others in the room stilled, eyes cast towards the simmering Griffin in the spotlight. They might not know the flame in depth like Clarke or these flamekeepers, but they sure as hell could feel something off from the kid since day one…and yet, for all the shouting from the high ground they never saw the kid being dragged down behind them.

Madi stood out of her seat, hard enough to make the chair scream with the floor, “I am Madi kom Louwoda Klironkru Heda, heir to Bekka Pramheda and the successor to Leksa kom Trikru. We will find who is responsible and they will be dealt with, but until then you will respect my command and my order. Do not forget that I spared your men in the first place”

Diyoza just glared at the girl before her, she could see why Clarke tried so hard to keep her child from the flame and from the rest of Wonkru. She pulled out a knife and started cleaning the dry blood from under her nails

“Funny kid, I only respect Griffins these days. They’re the only honest assholes these days, no offence Abby”

The elder Griffin just held her head in her hands, not wanting to deal with any of what was going on, Jackson next to her had a similar sentiment on the matter.

Madi slammed her hands down against the table, rocking it like an earthquake, the rippling effect shook Hope into a crying fit,

“I am a Griffin” she yelled.

Silence.

Diyoza flipped the knife in her hand, slamming it down between the girl’s fingers, so fast that the flinch came seconds later.

“You didn’t say a damn thing about being a Griffin in your spiel, now _listen_ and listen good” she hissed glaring at the child before her,

“We are going to find who’s responsible _after_ getting my person back and set up appropriate punishments for who caused all this shit to hit the fan; then, were going to teach _both_ our people some god damn knowledge of reality and a little thing called hypocrisy. So, sit yo’little ass down so we can have a talk and not a shouting match like mature people, if you can do that then maybe I’ll consider your status”

Diyoza quieted at the end when Shaw brought Hope over to her, cradling her in her arms, just like she thought everyone seemed to calm down or at least hold back to get the baby to stop crying.

For awhile no one said anything but only glared saved for Abby and Jackson who looked too tired to participate in any sort of conflict. Some decided on a five-minute recess leaving only Shaw, her, and the second in command, who unlike the rest actually watched and _listened_ to what was going on.

It wasn’t till Diyoza caught Madi’s eye for the third time, after the child kept breaking eye contact as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t bring herself to do so, that she spoke again.

“One of the hardest lessons is to know that life is never fair Madi, it doesn’t matter who says what is right and what is not; you, the kid with a hundred voices in her head, me, the ex-renegade, even the boy scout outside pouting that his girlfriend isn’t here. It doesn’t matter because at the end of the day we are the _same_ , all breathing and trying to survive long enough so that we can live. Besides—”

Diyoza stopped seeing confusion override any other emotion on the girl’s face.

“What?”

The kid looked at her like she grew a second head.

“Un…Echo _is_ here”

Diyoza looked to Indra whose expression was more amusement than anything else but like the during the meeting decided to just watch on.

“Yeah, I know, so…?”

“You said Bellamy was pouting for his girlfriend”

“Correct”

Madi almost looked like she was grinning to herself behind her hands the mask of leadership quickly falling with what was an amusing sight for her, apparently.

“Diyoza, Echo is Bellamy’s girlfriend”

She and Shaw stared at each other before turning to look at the smallest Griffin.

“Bullshit” they chorused.

“It’s true” Indra defended with a quirk of her lips.

Shaw shook his hands and got out of the chair next to her, the small disruption putting a frown on Hope’s face, but at least the baby didn’t start crying again.

“No way, nope, zilch, zero” he held up his hands making a circle with his fingers, “that can’t be true”

The amusement seemed to give way to curiosity in Madi’s eyes, she didn’t know how much any of Eligius knew of Wonkru but both Diyoza and Shaw had the most interactions with them by far.

“It’s true, you can ask Raven…who did you think was Bellamy’s girlfriend?”

“Your mother” their synced voices holding no room for doubt.

“Well…she’s not”

It almost sounded like she was disappointed to Diyoza, but when she observed the kid there was no lie in her eyes.

“You’ve got to be shitting me”


	6. Chapter 6

The rest of their little recess was little more than a quiet affair of keeping out of the sun and waiting for Spacekru to come back.

Which they did with the tension just as tight as when they left.

“Let’s restart” Bellamy mumbled, his family fuming behind him.

Diyoza caught Indra’s eye when Echo set down near Bellamy, a hand on his shoulder in support. Indra nodded with a shrug.

Murphy stumbled into the seat on the other side of the boy scout, “He colonel, what’s gottch yah panties in a twist?”

She just sighed and let Hope rest against her, “Disappointed at something that was so glaring obvious”

“And what’s that” There was another glass of moonshine in his hand, well if there was one thing to last just as long as humans it was alcohol. Good to know.

“Our friendship level isn’t high enough to unlock personal goals, try again once you reach level five”

“That’s—”

“Enough” Bellamy pulled the moonshine away from the man and turned back to her, “let’s just get back to the murder and your missing man”

Diyoza didn’t hold in her snort, “maybe you should do a head count of your people”

The man only frowned at her, confused.

“They’re all here”

“So, she really isn’t one of yours” Diyoza really didn’t mean for it to come out, but it just did.

Shaw didn’t share her raised brow, instead he only looked madder for every second that ticked by. She patted his shoulder in comradery, well Clarke may not belong with them, but she was part of their dysfunctional little family.

Bellamy only frowned more.

She couldn’t help another sigh, for someone who was like a shadow for Clarke half the time he seemed to be oblivious to her now.

“Never mind, little bird can you get the video feed from—"

 

Raven moved to get up, a “Don’t call me that!” was shut down quickly by Shaw who stood in the way and gently pushed her back onto the seat, holding firm onto her shoulders and rubbing circles into the back of her neck,

“This isn’t about the murder” he supplied. “Well it _is_ , but this is more about Clarke”

Murphy gave a loud snort breaking something that he threw onto the floor, “It’s always about the murder”

Diyoza all the while watching the older Blake for a reaction, and she wasn’t disappointed when Shaw said the blonde’s name Bellamy perked up and scanned the room. There was a look of confusion and then horror the drained the color from his face. When he looked to her she just offered a raised brow.

Took him long enough.

He looked like he was going to run out their little leader’s tent when Murphy’s drunk hysterics reached a new loudness.

“The bitch can’t wait six months to kill something, feel sorry for the bastard who took the bloody _princess”_ , he purred.  “probably killed her captor and started another war and ran away. She always runs, you hear me Clarke! You coward, you RAN…Hey, how long do you think it’ll be this time till we’re dragged into another war by—”

“Shut it Murphy” Bellamy warned, but the man looked to lost to do much else besides keeping himself from punching the other man.

She couldn’t believe he wasn’t Clarke’s boyfriend, or husband, or lover.

“Right now Clarke may be in danger”

“Clarke’s always in danger” Murphy drawled back.

Raven stood between the two men who were starting to get at each other’s throats, “We don’t even know she’s in trouble, you said this is about one of your people so what does Clarke have to do with this”

“She always has something to do with everything” Raven slapped the back of Murphy’s head, ignoring his mutterings.

If looks could kill the man would be dead ten times over from Bellamy alone.

“Because of this” Jordan put the picture down in the middle of the table, the little infinities glaring back and marring the beautiful picture.

Emori turned the paper around for a better look, “It’s the valley…”

The young man nodded, “I was there when Clarke was making this, well minus the little signs, but she loved to draw. I helped her hang some up in her medical tent, you should see some of the rest, there’s this one—sorry I’m ranting again"

Well at least one of the kids didn’t seem to lose their sanity in this new hellscape.

“Still” Raven made to loot at the picture but brushed it away with a sour expression on her face. “That doesn’t explain what Clarke has to do with this”

“Simple, Clarke’s my missing person” Diyoza stared at Bellamy all the while, the man had a decency to look guilty.

“A traitor takes a traitor in, that’s ironic” muttered Murphy.

“Murphy!” Bellamy started but Echo stopped him.

“He has a point Bellamy, she left you to die in the fighting pits”

A dulled and dry voice spoke “Only after he left her tied to my wall screaming at him”

Everyone whipped their heads around to the entrance, Octavia was standing with her arms crossed looking bored, but to Diyoza she looked uncomfortable to be in the spot light now.

“What are _you_ doing here” hissed Raven. Echo was out of her seat; with one fluid motion her sword was flush to Octavia’s throat.

“You have ten seconds to answer before—”

“You have three before I put a bullet in your back”

The spy looked over to Diyoza, it was amusing to watch the younger woman’s eyes widen. It was like they expected her to be defenseless because she had a baby, it was quite insulting.

Jordan yelped when Murphy flung his own gun up, but Shaw twisted his arm around, pinning him to the table. The cold metal fell to the dirt floor with a soft thwap.

Diyoza grinned at her guests, motioning for the spy to release the other woman from her sword’s grasp and for the others to sit down.

“Now that I finally have your true undivided attention, can we get on with this ridiculously long meeting, time is being wasted”

Bellamy looked ready to explode, he refused to look his sister in the eye, and he turned away when young Madi stared at him.

“You left her chained up?”

“She would have been shot on site, Madi. I wasn’t going to risk it”

“And she left you to _die_ ” Echo muttered.

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair when a small hand gripped his sleeve, “But she didn’t want to, she just felt cornered and betrayed—”

“The only one betrayed was our speech man Bellamy here”

“Shut up Murphy”

The man threw a more than half empty glass of moonshine, which Murphy seemed to take out of the air, at him.

 “Then shut your stupid pouting then, princess ain’t commin’ back. Never has, never will”

“Enouph!” Abby yelled, startling everyone even Hope, who looked to stunned to cry. “Diyoza what happened to my daughter”

Diyoza nodded to the doctor in thanks, their weird friendship formed from keeping Kane alive and being done with the bullshit that was reality.

“Someone attacked her when she was performing a surgery, my other man died from blood loss. They took her most likely as she removed the shrapnel from Sal’s leg, he’d been dead for days before I checked in on the tent and there were no visible tracks. I believe Clarke was the target”

Diyoza grabbed Clarke’s art and passed it across the table to the woman who looked like she aged ten more years that she probably doesn’t have.

“Shaw and I buried out man and went back to investigate, unfortunately in the hours it took to do that someone slipped back in and moved things around. _That_ was painted everywhere” She pointed to one of the many symbols covering the picture. She let the words sink in and grabbed one of Abby’s free hands with her own.

“Abby you need to know the ink is”

The other woman squeezed her hands, her voice wavering and cracking unlike the cool expression of the doctor’s mask that she put up.

“I know, I _know_ it’s her blood Diyoza”

There was a whimper from Hope and some sharp breaths from the others. Maybe it would take Clarke’s death to humble Spacekru…Diyoza shook her head giving Abby’s hand another squeeze. She didn’t need to start thinking like that, she didn’t need to jinx the girl.

“Good, the bitch can stay dead and we don’t have to worry about the Commander of Death picking favorites”

Ditoza watched Shaw who was the closest between them two and a second from punching the man when a blank face Maddi did it for him. Everyone watched the drunk man topple over without much protest besides a few choice swear words, it was quite possible that he was fully drunk despite his mostly clear words.

“How many people did you kill just in the _last_ war, how about before then. What about those in the drop ship! Or did you forget that just like how you forgot Clarke was the first one _ever_ to give you a second chance” the kid yelled.

Maddi was seething, eyes scrunched as if she couldn’t see ten feet in front of her. She was scratching the back of her head looked about ready to lunge again at the fool on the floor when Gaia put a firm hand on her shoulder.

“Maddi! Commanders don’t let their emotions control them, they don’t let their thoughts get tangled with feelings”

The kid quieted quickly looking not quite at Diyoza or Shaw but somewhere in between. It wasn’t hard to see the kid wanting to crack and race out to find Clarke, but the longer she stayed in Gaia’s arms the faster the light died from the kid’s eyes and the more stone face she became.

Diyoza couldn’t not see the kids brainwashed by terrorist organizations back in her day, when _she_ used to be the one to order the hits on the kids walking through debris ladened streets with guns in their hands and bombs tied to their feet.

She shuddered at the memory.

Maddi may not be doing any of _that_ , but the feeling of hopelessness and devastation of choosing to take the life of a child for the sake of everyone else sent bile that was dozens of decades old shooting up Diyoza’s throat.

Those two Spacekru that gave their lives to give them a second chance didn’t seem to factor in humans always forgetting history.

The hollow voice of the child brought her back to the meeting.

“What happened” it was cold and calculated.

Shaw and her looked between Spacekru and the grounders, neither seeing the war going on in the child or just ignoring it all together.

What happened indeed.

Diyoza stood with Shaw close behind, “It would be easier if we showed you”

She placed Clarke’s paint brush in front of the kid, for a minute she thought Madi wouldn’t have taken the piece of wood from the table in front of her but then a small quaking fist rose above the table and plucked it up with a gentleness not fitting of the Commanders of old in her head.

Maybe there was some hope to fix this mess.


	7. Chapter 7

They could smell the tent before they got to it, it was amazing no one else noticed, but then again Clarke preferred to keep her distance from the rest of her neighbors. Them included.

Bellamy couldn’t stop his pacing; he knew he should have checked in on Clarke even after their fight. About a week ago they were a little drunk, or he was at least compared to Clarke, she’d downed five shots without blinking before getting him his first which almost made him drop from the first slip.

Anyway, he may have went to confront Clarke about the Polis incident, but he just instead turned into a full-on douchebag and yelled at her, all his anger billowing out of him and onto her, he’d yelled about the hurt, the betrayal, and more things that weren’t even remotely her fault. Unfortunately, he was too drunk to remember much else after saying she should have died in praimfaya, something he regretted more than anything else he’s done. He made her cry, again, which only made him feel worse, after that she’d run in the other direction from him every chance she got.

He didn’t blame her, hell he should have been slapped _again_. Or shot.

Bellamy tried to corner her to apologize for his drunken stupor and hiding his insecurities by lashing at her and so much more, but she always slipped through his fingers. After a while he just stopped so she’d stay around longer, it was like every time he moved toward her even when her back turned, she always knew he was trying to talk to her and would bolt.

 

He was pulled from his thoughts with an abrupt arm to his face, grabbing his smarting nose he glared ready to deck Murphy again when he realized it was Diyoza.

“You done prancing around, the poor grass will be dead if you don’t stop”

He glared at the woman.

“Clarke could be seriously injured and you’re complaining about me destroying grass, seriously!”

He found himself flat on the ground staring at the woman who somehow threw him over her shoulder in less than a second. Somewhere in his mind he processed that if Diyoza wasn’t pregnant with Hope then they’d have been more screwed then how much they already were.

“Shut up” was the only thing she said, stepping on his stomach on her way to the tent. His breath ripped from his throat just as fast as he was thrown.

She threw it open; the musty smell assaulted their senses and Bellamy didn’t fight it when his stomach regurgitated their morning meal. Several others behind him joined him in his expulsion of food.

Clarke’s tent was a mess, not her chaotic halfway complete art everywhere looking for inspiration to finish mess, it was the mess of someone struggling to live. Dozens of her drawings littered the dirt ground, black everywhere except for the table that was stained in red curdled to brown puddle. Bellamy didn’t want to think of the black symbols everywhere, and they were _everywhere_ on every piece of art available, on every surface with enough room. Some of them were hurried and big, others small and precise like Clarke’s tent was their canvas.

 “What the hell…”

Bellamy looked to Emori who was pointing to a panoramic he’d seen only once before his fight with Clarke. She was so happy the day she finished it, constructed of five pieces of paper glued with sap on boards was her art. It was of many faces he’s long since forgot of, of voices he would never remember, his memories jumpstarted when she showed him the picture for the first time.

When she first came to him, she was out of breath and yelling his name, for a second he thought she was bring news of something starting to kill them off again but to his surprise she grabbed his hand and ran back to her tent dragging him the entire time.

She had it on her operating table covered in leaves, Bellamy remembered how anxious but _happy_ she looked. When she brushed her little cover off his breath caught, there were kids from the hundred, friendly grounders like Anya, Luna, and Roan; but there were so many more too, people from the Ark, even some of the mountain men, hundreds of people. Hell even McCreary and his men were mixed in with fallen Wonkru members and hundreds more.

How could she remember so many faces…

A man who could only be Clarke’s father was dead center with his arms open in greeting with the biggest smile on his face, the familiar Lexa smiling close to him and Lincoln was next to her at the front, right next to his mom. He remembered staring at Clarke unable to convey the feelings that were overwhelming him, so many memories and so many lost chances, but she’d brought them back, maybe not in person but in memory, in art made from this beautiful land.

“How do you know what she looked like?” He had asked her. Clarke shrugged, “I asked Octavia and did the best I could do with reconstructing her figure, if it’s not her to your standards of memory or like I can redraw her if you want…”

She was fiddling with one of her other art pieces in front of him, he apparently continued to stare at the art for too long because Clarke had cleared her throat,

“Do you… _want_ me to change anything, Bellamy? As much as I hate to think about what I had to do to get here, the past needs to be remembered so—”

“No” his voice had cracked. Turning he swept her up in a hug so fast that she squeaked and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the woman clinging to him, he made the mighty Clarke Griffin squeak.

“Thank you” he whispered into her shoulder as he clutched onto her for support. He thought he could feel her finger running through his hair like the ones rubbing his back but he couldn’t be sure.

That was only a day and a half before he blew up at her, his emotions overflooding after being piled away for so long, his dam of composure loose from Murphy’s taunting and memories of his mother and friends long since dead. The alcohol just broke the damn completely and Clarke was right in front staring him down.

He didn’t think about it before or after his horrid outburst at her, but now when he thought about it, Clarke didn’t like to share her personal art with anyone but Madi, and yet she showed him. She had opened up to him and he tore her down less than forty-eight hours later, blaming her for so many deaths, many of which were the people in her masterpiece.

“It’s a memorial” He muttered, Bellamy shook his head and stood beside Emori. It was the only thing in the tent that wasn’t vandalized, as if the image was to beautiful or sacred to destroy even to the bastards that attacked Clarke and let her patient bleed out…or maybe because it already was.

He took a step closer, he thought it shadow, but there was black spattered at the edges of the. High velocity.

The closer he looked the more drops of blood stood out and the more his heart dropped, where was Clarke hit, was she still alive now?

The despair quickly turned to anger, he was going to find who did this and they were going to pay.

He turned leaving the rest to congregate around the piece of art of those long past, he was ready to storm out the door but was bolted to the ground by the lost look thrown his way.

Madi.

She just looked around the room, her eyes getting duller with each sweep despite the glint of tears in them. Madi stalked up next to him, just feet away from the rest who continued to gawk and cry about their lost loved ones, but when she looked, she only flinched. She locked eyes with him and his heart broke again.

“Someone should have been there for her”

Bellamy opened his mouth to say something but nothing would come out, Madi was right.

“But no one ever was”

Bellamy glared at the woman who stood sitting against another table glaring at them, but he couldn’t meet the elder woman’s eyes.

“That’s not true” Madi growled out as she stepped in front of him.

He could have laughed if the circumstances were better, she was Clarke’s daughter alright always ready to fight for someone else, or just argue with someone who was at least twice her size.

“You sure about that kid” Diyoza challenged back, she stood up stalking to them, Madi backed up into him. The woman could be terrifying on a good day when she was happy but she was more than pissed today.

Madi looked away frowning.

The snake got her day.


	8. Chapter 8

She woke to complete darkness.

Where ever she was, was cold and hard as well as completely unforgiving.

“You’re awake” muttered an amused voice, “astounding given the hole in your head, or what’s left of it…seems like Simon took her time for you”

She didn’t reply right away, where was who was—!

A pain shot through her head.

She was under something; people were poking her…something was stab into her arm.

Wait, she can breathe and move! She wasn’t able to do that before…

Another bout of pain laced through her, so much so that she couldn’t help the anguished cry that pierced the silent chasm they she was stuck in.

The voice talking to her seemed to be taken aback by her primal cry, or maybe she was just creating some sort of figment to make her feel less alone.

When her cries tempered off into wobbly whimpers and was able to sit up till her back was laying against the cold embrace of the back wall…at least it was smooth. The voice popped back up; it gentler than the hardness she was resting against.

“Hey, you’re still drugged up, but trust me it’s going to fade fast and then the pain will be excruciating. Get some sleep while you still can”

“Who?” She wanted, no need, to know what was going on, where was she. Who was she…

The voice shushed her gently as if she was a child crying in the dark, she probably wasn’t any better than one in state really.

“Leave the questions for the morning, okay”

“Ok—” she choked on her own breath, mouth dry as a desert and her tongue as cracked at her hope of finding out anything of what’s happening to her.

She heard the voice gently coax her, “breath in hold…now out. Take a breath, slow…there you go”

She gave another cough but her lungs stopped their cramping.

“Good, you okay?”

She gently shook her head till she remembered the voice probably couldn’t see her.

“Yes” she croaked out.

The voice hummed at her.

“Goodnight, mystery voice that may or may not be in my head”

That got her a bark of laughter that quickly shut itself down, there was amusement in the voice “Goodnight to you too, darlin’, you’ll need it…unfortunately”


	9. Chapter 9

She looked over the dark land, It was before the crack of dawn—dawns?—does it change with the amount of suns? Anyway, they’ve come so far and yet fell just as far. A whole new world is what it took for the possibility of peace…Octavia sighed, she knew she was one of the main causes of why they were forced to leave, she was the monster at least the biggest one, but she wanted this more than anything else, a chance of peace, of rest.

“Hey” Niylah yawned resting her head against the crook of her neck.

“Hey” Octavia echoed.

“You’re up early” She wrapped her arms around the fallen leader. “We could’ve had ten more minutes”

Octavia leaned back against her confidant, best friend, and more, “We’ve lost enough time, for all we know Clarke…” Octavia sighed, the blonde was one of the few who would get close to her, and despite them having history together both good and really bad it felt _comforting_ to have someone who could understand…well understand if they weren’t still pissed at you for almost killing their daughter; but Octavia didn’t blame Clarke for that, hell the first time they spared Clarke said as much that she didn’t hate for the assassin going after her but after Madi.

They were by no means friends, but Clarke quickly became another confidant to her and a mutual associate that didn’t want her dead onsite. She could throw a very hard punch if you piss her off the right way though.

Niylah hugged her tighter, “Clarke will survive”

Octavia turned to the other woman, “How are you so sure”

Niylah smiled cheekly, “Well she did survive praimfaya”

“That doesn’t count” she protested, “She had night blood”

“But she still got burned _and_ irradiated, plus the isolation would not have been kind. We had Wonkru she only had Madi when they found the valley”

Octavia tried to protest again but she didn’t have anything, Niylah was right sometimes the worse feeling is being by yourself and you head, a combination that is rarely good.

“Yeah your—wait how did you know all that, how long was she without Madi?”

Niylah kissed her forehead, “You’re not the only one who talks to Clarke, but it’s good to see my two favorite girls not trying to kill each other anymore”

Octavia furrowed her eyebrows, “I’ve never seen her talk to you since Eden”

Niylah put a finger to her lips giving her a wink, “A magician never reveals her secrets”

She took off towards the edge of camp where the rest were to gather for their expedition, Octavia followed close behind.

After yesterday’s discover, Octavia went with Diyoza before join the meeting that was more of a disaster than anything else, the group had a quick discussion coming up with the plan of going out to look after they spent the rest of the day in camp and in Clarke’s tent looking for clues. It was surprisingly Murphy who found some of Clarke’s blood heading off towards the north.

It wasn’t till they were at the meeting point waiting for the others that Octavia processed the rest of Niylah’s words,

“Wait, I’m your favorite of the two of us, right? Right? Niylah! Get back here”

The woman only laughed and continued climbing higher in the trees around them.

“Hurry up, Octavia, lord knows none of the rest will”


	10. Chapter 10

They’ve been walking for hours after he found Niylah and his sister in the trees, the twin suns were more damning than the one that shone on their old abandoned Earth. When they set out the wind was nice and cool, the suns still not awake to blind them. Though when they did the forest that they were walking through went from cool and lush to a hellish sauna that made their sweat evaporate instantly, well almost instantly.

“Why are we here gain” Murphy complained.

At least the man was somber for the most part, Bellamy applauded his friend mentally, he hasn’t taken a sip of alcohol today _yet_.

“We’re here to find Clarke and figure out who’s was responsible, there is at least one murderer on the loose and they could cause infighting and war if we’re not careful”

“Newsflash Bellamy” the man snorted at him, “There are murderers everywhere in camp”

Bellamy glared at the man over his shoulder, not dignifying Murphy’s statement with any response.

“No fun” Murphy huffed.

It was several more hours till they stopped for a break, laying amongst the trees’ giant roots, the suns were at their highest and none dared heat stroke not even Diyoza.

“This is pointless”

Raven muttered in the grove of tree roots she stuck herself between to mess with their radios, some of Diyoza’s men along with Indra and Gaia were left at camp to guard ready to radio if their watch found any suspicious activity or any more sign of Clarke.

Bellamy looked to the woman, never has he seen her give up so easily. It was Raven for crying out loud she didn’t stop until someone made her. “Raven you can’t be serious”

She only glared at him as if she was bored of their little game of hide and seek, she stopped messing with one of their radios.

“I am, there’s been no sign of Clarke, or any piece of Clarke for _miles_ ”

“You can’t be suggesting we stop looking for her, she—” Bellamy was cut off by the angry brunette. Which if he was being honest made him flinch with the wrench in her hands.

“She deserves it Bellamy, after everything she’s done, you’re still willing to follow her like a god damn lost puppy”

Raven stood unable to stand the man’s pleading eyes of despare, not after seeing it for six years strait. She stormed off into the denser underbrush.

He made to move after her when a hand pulled him back down, forcing him into the hollow of his tree. He found Diyoza, who was sitting in the same root system as he, glaring at the mechanic’s back before turning it to Shaw.

The man didn’t need to be told twice with the look she gave. “Yeah, yeah, I know”, he raised his hands with a deep frown and a sigh that matched, Shaw followed after the storming woman abandoning the safe harbor of the shade.

Bellamy leaned deeper into the tree, the biting bark and the hurt of the heat not doing anything to help his headache.

“What’s she so pissed about? It’s like something crawled up her ass and died” Diyoza muttered. The woman was angry for so many reasons, most of which he didn’t know and was afraid to ask about in fear of her anger being targeted onto him. It wasn’t the first time he was grateful that the woman could only do a fifth of what she could when she was pregnant, Bellamy knew that the war for Eden would have turned out very differently if she didn’t have Hope.

Bellamy sighed again lost in thought when he looked towards the hedge with a Raven size hole in it, he knew Raven felt more betrayed than many of the others which he found surprising, and _he_ was the one left to die; Bellamy also knew Clarke and her didn’t have the best of starts of a friendship on the ground nor the same view of what needed to be done, but he didn’t think Clarke could receive so much anger from the mechanic.

“I don’t think she ever got over Clarke being dead to us for six years nor what transpired before Praimfaya, and then seeing her again but on the other side of the war and being tortured with Shaw by McCreary because of Clarke just added insult to the injury”

The woman snorted, leaning deeper into the tree. It was almost funny to see the woman that could scare her men to death retreat from the sun like a kid. “She’s not innocent either, none of us are. Even my buffoons have gotten along with some of your idiots”

They drifted off into silence, enjoying the rest from the afternoon heat. Neither wanting to argue with the hellish conditions they had to wait through till they could resume the search.

He watched Niylah and Madi messing with something at the base of an especially old tree twice the size of his own. Jordan was resting against it looking at some book or journal he brought with him. Octavia was climbing around on some of the lower branches watching the other two under her from time to time. His heart hurt, she looked more like the sister he knew on Earth, when they first landed and all she wanted to do was explore after being under the floor her entire life, but that was all in the past now. His sister died in the bunker before he came back down, before he could do anything to help her.

Raven burst from the shrubs giving him a heart attack, even the colonel jumped a bit bring out her gun, but Raven didn’t say anything instead she kicked her way across the ground far enough to have some space but enough to be in earshot if they needed to yell.

Shaw followed just as slow as he left, he stopped to slump down on Diyoza’s other side.

“How’d it go, any good yelling done or was it just her destroying these beautiful shrubberies that keep the damn suns off” she chirped, her irritation leaching away at her sarcasm.

Shaw blew air out his mouth rubbing his head, “No, just let her rant which was more just growling at everything than anything else, and storm around of course”

“Smart for you to stay away, poor plants though”

He snorted a small quirk of a smile filled his features. He didn’t seem to disturbed by the raving Raven in his midst.

“No kidding”

It wasn’t the first time Bellamy wondered about the people who were from Earth before it was destroyed the first time. They were so alike and yet so different, the only one who seemed to understand their banter was Clarke and occasionally Murphy when he wasn’t drunk. Maybe if they get Clarke back she could elaborate—no _when_ they get Clarke back she can elaborate, and he can apologize, Raven and everyone else can get their crap together and then they don’t have to go through another war. Then that was Monty and Harper wouldn’t have died in vein.

But even his own thoughts sounded childish to himself, there were to many what ifs, to much banking on people learning to forgive. That was one thing him and Clarke seemed to get down more than anyone, they’d always forgave, at least they did at one time.

He looked to the two people next to him chatting amicably, as if they weren’t in a war and sent into cryo, again, it was a long time since he was envious of someone, but with those two he was. Shaw was like a younger brother or a son to the older woman, despite it being such a weird duo to see. They understood each other, respected each other despite eventually being on opposite sides of the war. He wished he could get Clarke to join them again, but she was just as adamant at staying way from the rest of Spacekru as they were to her. And it hurt, it hurt to see how despite Diyoza and Shaw fighting each other they still worked together and loved each other like family, but that didn’t happen with him, with Clarke, with Octavia, and so, so many more.

 

The wind picked up another two hours or so later bringing with it the hot air into their cool abode, carrying a light smoky smell that reminded him of their dropship days. Bellamy had noticed Octavia disappeared higher into the trees’ canopies to escape from it, and even Madi was looking a little agitated next to her melting companions.

He really hoped this wasn’t going to be the new norm on this planet, else they might have to become nocturnal.

Bellamy opened his canteen, barely a trickle flowed out, their water was getting dangerously low and it would take at _least_ the same thirteen hours they took to get this far, and probably more depending on their exhaustion and the amount of resources left.

Shaw sat up stretching, “Reminds me of an old cook out my church—”

“Shaw” Diyoza groaned, tossing her canteen in his direction, the man eagerly took a swig. “Please don’t talk about barbecue or cook outs unless you got some of that meat with you”

“Someone’s hangry”

Bellamy heard the woman growl and inched away not looking for a fight to break up between the smiling pilot and the angry colonel, well at least not looking forward to being in the cross fire of one anyway.

The two were face to face, and despite the smile and cool façade that Shaw was putting on, Bellamy noticed that the man looked a little freaked out in the eyes, as if he stepped on a panther’s tail and was waiting for it to move first.

Diyoza hunched down, ready to tackled her pilot when a shout tore through the woods. They three looked to each other for confirmation, as if it was a figment of their imagination only, when it happened again. Bellamy tore through the snarled roots toward the sound, Diyoza quickly our running him and Shaw and bursting into the clearing.

Something rammed into his side taking him and Shaw to the floor before they could go through.

“What’s going on” Murphy yelled. Emori was behind rolling her eyes as she pulled Murphy and then them up.

“So, what is going on” she asked.

“Don’t know, shouting. Let’s move”

They moved together following the path Diyoza made, they fallowed the broken branches till the trees around them seemed to grow closer like soldiers in rank forming a shaded path for them. In the distance was Diyoza and the rest of their group, craning their heads up the ginormous length of a tree twice as wide and three times as tall as the one Octavia was climbing earlier.

“What happened” Bellamy panted. He got inquisitive looks from the rest.

Niylah passed him a set of binoculars, so ancient he thought they’d fall apart if he touched them much less actually work; but he took them looking up with the rest. It was Octavia.

She was pointing and calling, hell, she looked paler through the lens.

 

Octavia looked back over the other side of her roost; an entire part of the forest was burned to ash. Hills greyer than their rations glinted in the suns’ light glinted till a gust of wind would change its feathery pattern, darkening the ground as it swiveled in the light.

It reminded her of the Polis debris but bleaker if that was even possible.

Seeing the rest below she slid down branch from branch down the truck with such fluidity that it seemed impossible that she was trapped under ground for most of her life.

“Octavia what is it” Niylah called when she was half way down.

She stared at group, the scent of ash still clinging to her nostrils.

“I think I know where Clarke was”

For once she hopped her sparring partner was alive and that she was wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

She woke to the scraping of metal and muffled howls that belonged to nightmares.

“Good, you survived your first night”

It was the voice from last night, but this time it had a body to go with it.

A man shackled on all appendages, loose but still restraining, looked back to her, he was tall greying but even with the bruises and blood that coated his figure his shoulders did not slump in defeat. In fact, he looked like he was having the time of his life, as if he didn’t have ten inch long gashes down his torso.

“So, darlin’ can you tell me anything from before”

She looked at the man unsure of how to respond. She knew the voice, even if it was only a few minutes, but she did not know this face or the soul that glinted through the eyes.

The man must have sensed her apprehension for he raised a hand slowly and waved, his chains clinking together softly for something that looked too heavy to lift.

“Name’s Russell Lightborn, didn’t mean to startle you” The smile that glinted in the low light fell slowly but never disappeared completely.

She didn’t say anything.

The man tried again, “How are you feeling? Simon came by earlier and shot some more pain killer into your system”

She glanced down at herself.

Her skin was marred with all sorts of scars, bruises, abrasions; it was like she was her own little canvas. She wondered what shape would appear if she connected all the little scar lines.

It only made her wonder who she was that much more.

But, the mystery man was right. She was sore yet there was no excruciating feeling of having her head torn apart.

She lifted her hands, slowly turning them over and back around, with each new mark she had ten more questions. She moved a shaky hand toward her head, that’s what the voice said she was injured last night; that there was damage to her head, that this Simon person worked on her.

At least she could remember that much.

“No!”

The man’s shout startled her causing her to ram the back of her head against the wall, the solid steel meeting her soft cranium with an excruciating hug. If she didn’t have a head injury before she has one now.

The man was swearing under his breath, “Shit, sorry, hey I need you to look up. We need to see if you tore the stitches—”

She groaned as she gingerly ran a hand over the back of her head.

“Ihmm fienn”

“You are very far from fine my dear”

She glared at the voice, or the man who owned the voice but the blow gave him a swirling twin.

“Whoosh youuu aginnn”

“Crap…hey! HEY! Need a medic here” The man was kicking the cell bars before him, the chains around him clinking with sharp laughter.

No matter how hard she pressed her hand to her ears the sound wouldn’t stop puncturing her ears.

“Simon, get your traitorous ass down here now!”

The swirling in her head didn’t stop, in fact it only seemed to worsen with the aching of her ears. Attempting to stand just landed her on the floor with blood oozing from somewhere. Or maybe manywheres.

“SIMON!!!”

The voice left the strangers body again, leading her into the darkness once again.


	12. Chapter 12

Ash was everywhere, each step kicked up its own little storm that was eager to raise its own little dust devil. What were once hills were now mounds waiting to give in on themselves with just the slightest amount of weight.

“What happened”

Octavia looked at Jordan, the look of horror on his face making her stomach sink. It was a long time since she’s seen someone so innocent, so untouched by the brutality of life.

Diyoza stormed past her and the rest, ignoring the little hurricanes wafting in her wake. She would never admit it out loud but her fellow snake was terrifying when her little girl wasn’t in her womb or in her arms.

The ex-soldier was kicking up more and more debris, ash clumped in odd shapes threatened to clog their lungs.

If Clarke was in the area when this happened then there was little chance for even _her_ to survive. Octavia wondered if this was what Earth looked like after Praimfaya, barren and quiet.

Jordan trudged through the seemingly endless grey coughing every three feet before choking on his own breath. “How are we supposed to find Clarke in this”

“We don’t” Muttered a voice.

“Murphy! We are not leaving until we find her—”

Bellamy rounded on their resident cockroach, but he found himself face to face with the man and there was no mirth or jest in his eyes.

“Or what Bellamy? Till we die trying to find a shard of her bone, look around you!”

Murphy threw his hands out, there was nothing but barren wasteland around them. He wanted to slug Bellamy so hard, even _if_ Clarke survived whatever the hell happened here that was days ago, and if she was trapped under their ashy blanket then she’d have suffocated long before they got here.

 

Diyoza was easily quarter to half a mile ahead of the stragglers who found it appropriate to argue instead of doing anything else remotely helpful. A heavy clunk stopped threatened to drag her down and stopped her in her tracks, kneeling with shirt pressed tighter against her nose she leaned down. Pushing through the almost soft grey substrate with hand Diyoza searched, her knuckles hit something solid and warm.

Her heart rate spiked fearing the worse, it wasn’t till she grasped the object did she realize it wasn’t Clarke. Slowly she lifted a heavy chain out of the mound, ash fell away leaving a smooth and, once she rubbed her thumb across it, shiny metal that she was all too familiar with.

She held it behind her glaring at the hills of grey, a single purgatory oasis in the desert of beauty.

“Recognize this”

A calloused hand rubbed against her own taking the warm metal that penetrated her gloves from her grasp.

“Eligius”

Diyoza turned to her fellow snake, eyes cold in understanding, the younger girl’s anger started radiating off feeding her own.


	13. Chapter 13

She glared at the man in the cell. His screams could be heard even over the rest of the beasts’ growls.

“What is it Russ—”

“She needs help!”

Simon glared at the man, she’d never seen him so frantic, at least not since the death of his daughter. It was hard to forget how such a strong man could break so hard and so fast, it was a day that would change the course of this planet’s history forever.

Turning she saw what had his gears grinding. The blonde their patrol found was slumped in a pool of her onyx colored blood.

She pressed the emergency button on her radio, no way was she going to let the foreigner die without any information. Everyone and everything, and she means _everything_ knew of the people that descended from the heavens like their ancestors did so long ago.

The more Simon thought about it the more it seemed that no one has made contact with them, and she’d be damned if she couldn’t get them on her side.

Simon barely noticed her interns and the other doctors flooding the cells, instead she focused on the blonde bleeding beneath her.

They might have more advanced technology then when her decedents first arrived on this moon, hell even being able to synthesize stem cells and regenerate parts of brains (unnaturally lucky for her and the blonde bleeding before her), but she didn’t like the outlook for the blonde.

Even _if_ they could save her life there was no guarantee that she’d function normally afterward with or without another surgery.

“Doctor…Dr.Simon Anderson”

A hand grasped onto her shoulder, gently shaking her out of her thoughts.

“Hmm?”

It was Gaius, one of her most trusted interns with a story similar to her own, normally he was eager to learn and to help, now though he looked like he would become one of her patients.

“She’s not going to make it”

Looking around she could see no one taking any more steps to preserve the blonde that fell from the sky and burned with the ground.

“Like hell she is, prep her for the latest dosage”

“She won’t survive it, even healthy adults in their prime can’t half the time with a mono-dose much less a multi—”

“Gaius” the young man gulped and quieted, gently he helped to press the blonde’s wounds.

Her older colleagues only raised their brows and frowned, if this went downhill General Cetus would take it out on her and her alone, but that wouldn’t stop the man from being an ass to anyone else.

Not like he wasn’t anyway, so what was there to lose.

“Well” she prompted her interns, “get with it”

People scurried off as she pressed down harder on the bleeding wounds.

The next few days were going to be interesting.


	14. Chapter 14

“Diyoza, Octavia what did you find”

The two looked at each other and then the small child before them. They didn’t know how Madi would react only that it would no be good, but what other option did they have.

Diyoza looked at the fear riddled child, Jesus they let a child lead. It didn’t matter that she was trained by Clarke and survived the end of the world, if anything that meant that Madi should have the rest of her life to relax, have fun, anything other than face more heartache.

Mutely Octavia kneeled in front of the kid that she was willing to kill to retain power, however it wasn’t that that brought a sour taste to her mouth, it was the look of understanding what occurred to her mother on Madi’s face that brought it.

With a patience that she remembered her mother using on her Octavia rested a hand on the young Commander’s shoulder and placed the heavy chain’s exposed belly in her small hands.

“It’s Eligius, but I don’t thing any of Diyoza’s men did this. They have no reason to, I’m sorry”

The girl before them didn’t say anything.

Feeling the colonel’s hand on her own shoulder Octavia stood up, there was nothing either of them could do. If Clarke was tied here during the fire then there was no hope, not for the middle Griffin or the Commander of Death.

“What happened?”

Bellamy and the rest finally reached them, none seeming to concerned until they got an eyeful of the chains.

“What’s—”

Murphy’s words were cut by the roar that tore itself from their Commander.

With a bout of anger, that should not have ever irradiated from someone so young, Madi surged forward pulling the chain out of the ash pile. Foot by foot seemed to go by endlessly as the metal chains slipped from the grey. No one bothered the child, nor did they ask her to stop as the ash threatened to choke them all over again with a revenge that felt more suitable than it should have.

It took maybe three minutes to get the heavy chain out but it felt like an eternity. When nothing else was brought forth with the mass of chain the young commander fell to her knees, ash threatening to swallow her just as it did her mother.

“She’s not here”

Clarke wasn’t here that meant she was alive, she _had_ to be alive. Clarke wouldn’t abandon her, not after six years of them fighting against the world, against the home planet of humans.

“Heda” Echo whispered, she had stayed quiet till now, there was no lie about her animosity towards the blonde, but she’s seen how much her Heda cares for the woman who raised her on the destroyed planet.

Trying to ease the news that no one was willing to say out loud. Glancing to the side she saw Bellamy, white as first snow and shaking just as much as any child in her tribe. How was she going to get him through losing Clarke again?

Turning her eyes back she peered to the young commander who was glaring at her, “Wanheda—Clarke—is no more Heda”

Madi rounded on her, “NO! You’re lying” her arm on the handle of her sword.

Echo hasn’t seen the young nightblood fight but from what Gaia and many other’s have confessed the young one’s skill was that of all the Commanders before, even before Madi took on the flame.

Tucking her chin down to conceal her neck from a possible lash out of her Commander, Echo continued, it was for the best they needed their Commander to focus, to move on no matter how much she wanted to stay in the past.

“there are fires that burn the toughest of bone to ash just like we see here, you won’t find much if anything at all, I’m sorry Heda”

They needed to get back to came, find out who did this and prevent any other deaths from occurring. More pressingly they had to get back before one of them dropped from dehydration.

 

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

Madi felt her raging breaths dragging in ash but that didn’t stop the anger, the hurt. It didn’t stop the pain.

Staring at the ground where the last of the chain slipped from, Madi started digging with her fingers. Then with her hands, it wasn’t long till a desperation took over her. She wasn’t going to let go and give up on Clarke, not unless there was proof that she was—that she was.

“Madi”

She couldn’t tell who it was maybe it was Echo, or Emori, hell maybe it was Murphy or several of them but she didn’t care.

A hand touched her arm but Madi ripped herself away, they didn’t care. They didn’t care for Clarke, not like her, they didn’t know the pain of only having one person with you for six years.

They didn’t care about what Clarke’s done for them, only what she’s done to them. They didn’t care that she was just as human, or that it was _their_ valley that was destroyed, they didn’t care about the isolation.

The madness.

The despair.

“Madi, please” the person begged again.

She ignored them, digging as fast as she could, but no matter how hard she tried or how much she dug out the ash kept falling in on itself, destroying any progress she made.

“Shut up, you don’t care, none of you care for her!” Madi whimpered.

It was much to small and quiet for a Heda, but Madi couldn’t muster more. She dug more and more, but the ash kept falling down, threatening to take her along with it. Is this what Clarke felt with the bunker? She could dig for years and still never make a dent into finding her home?

She stopped digging, hand in mid claw out, the softness of the ash was a contrast to the horrid reason of its existence. The reality was she could dig and never find a piece of Clarke.

“Madi I’m so—so sorry, but we need to go home before our water—"

Home. Home was Clarke, home was the woman, who raised her on a desolated world and filled an empty valley.

“Home” if fell out of her lips.

“Yes” the voice said almost wobbly, “Clarke would want you to go home, to live for her”

A maniacal laugh, or maybe it was a cry, something in between really was coughed up with a wad of ashy spit,

“I can’t go home, she’s gone”

 

Madi let her body fall, half her side was gone in the grey beneath her, arms and legs spread in exhaustion. She was partly wrapped in the chains from her desperate digging, but she didn’t feel it burn her skin, or the hot suns beating down on her, she didn’t feel much of anything anymore. Letting out a deep breath she closed her eyes to the sleep that called on her.

Maybe in her dreams she’ll find her home again.

The last thing Madi felt was strong arms untangling her from the metal and an even stronger pair lifting her till she was resting against another’s heartbeat, her head in the nook of another’s. Someone was calling her name, instead she followed the darkness.


	15. Chapter 15

They transferred the dusty child between them on the way back, well until she was finally passed to Bellamy who refused to let her go.

“Bellamy”

No matter what anyone said to the man, he wouldn’t let go of the child in his arms, as if she was the last piece of Clarke left on this world, and maybe she was. Diyoza, Shaw, and Octavia were the most adamant about continuing to look for Clarke just for an hour or two more, but when Madi was crying in her sleep against Diyoza they agreed they needed to return back to camp.

They didn’t have the supplies nor the knowledge of the landscape to help in anyway, and with little hope that the woman was alive…

That was how they found themselves trekking back, passing Madi between them when one would get to tired. All except Bellamy, who none dared to give the child to, it was like everyone was waiting for him to break apart, to yell, scream or something else. Instead he was quiet, practically nonexistent to them all.

And then Jordan passed Madi to the eldest Blake when he noticed everyone else was past the point of exhaustion.

“Bell” Octavia tried again; her brother wasn’t listening. He just hunched around the younger girl as if he could keep away all the bad in the world just by smothering her away from it.

It would never work. Octavia saw how much the flame was eating away at the child that grew up with Clarke in the valley. She feared what the consequences would be now that Madi’s rock was gone.

She hoped the child wouldn’t turn out like her.

 

By the time they got to camp they were all dehydrated to such a state that Abby refused to let any of them out of the new medical tend she put up while they were gone, good thing to some of them especially Jordan and Raven who were vomiting by the time they reached the last mile to the gates.

If they weren’t carful and paranoid before their travel then their states would have been much worse. It was only the thought of what Earth looked like after Praimfaya and the two suns overhead that had them bringing twice the amount of water they originally planned.

It wasn’t enough.

“What do we do now?” Shaw’s hoarse voice filled the small room, there were little other people in the makeshift medical tent in the days that followed. Any that were in here with them were on the other side being taken care of by Abby as Jackson kept up with the quarantine patients.

It was hard to get rid of the look on Abby’s face when they arrived, maybe she didn’t have that much hope for her daughter’s survival after seeing Clarke’s tent. He wasn’t a doctor but she was, and if it was half as dreadful as he thought then, well, he wondered what a doctor would say about it.

Diyoza had Hope resting against her, cupped in the crook of her arm; crying now and then the first twenty-four hours from less than ideal amounts of milk. Madi, now clean for the most part with and IV in her arm, rested between her and Octavia.

Somehow, they were able to get Bellamy to release the girl but, in the time, since he stayed watching her, be it standing, siting, or down on the ground in exhaustion. He never let the young Griffin out of his site.

“Damage control” the colonel said, arm tightening around the passed-out child between her and the other snake.

Shaw had a feeling that she wasn’t talking about the death of Sal and the fact that Clarke was gone. Though couldn’t help but feel the same as Madi or Jordan, without a body it was hard to believe Clarke was gone; he’d seen her take on some native wildlife that had everyone else running for camp, well except for Madi, so maybe that’s why, but still it was a sight to see.

There was a herd of creatures that he could best describe as a mix between a bison and a monkey, thank all the gods the creatures weren’t the size of bison, but they weren’t as small as an Orangutan. Fun fact before he was shipped off to take Diyoza and the rest of the criminals to their mining mission the orangutans went extinct, last one was in the New York zoo, his name was Bubba, Bubbles, or something along those lines.

What ever the name of the orangutan was it had nothing on those creatures. One of them had went after Madi and Clarke steamrolled into it without a second thought. A small blonde woman with the will of the gods against beasts of burden.

If he wasn’t scared out of his mind when these creatures came across their camp it would have been funny to see the two Griffins running around hoping and jumping away from and onto the creatures, leading them away from the rest of the camp.

It took them a day and a half to find their way back, Shaw wondered if they just stayed out longer so they didn’t have to deal with all the noise that came with the camp, it didn’t go past his notice that those two prefer the quiet.

Even Madi who was inquisitive to every new detail.

The Griffin duo also brought back two of those creatures for dinner, rolled in on nothing but logs and vines. It was something out of a Flintstones cartoon.

Shaw leaned back with a sigh, watching Spacekru skulk about did nothing to alleviate the hurt or dread that filled his stomach. Everything depends on how Madi will lead Wonkru after this.


	16. Chapter 16

Pounding, banging, screeching.

The scent of blood far decayed than the last lifetime. A dark corridor.

The bleach burning—her hair, her nose, her skin. White tile surrounding a metal bed.

Clean. The room was too clean, to clean and to chemical.

“Subject 319 is temporarily stable after three days of temporal solution, Dr.Simon are you sure you want to precede”

Young, youthful and passionate. Easily manipulated by want and future.

“Proceed with plan. Tri-hybrid formula complete, stage one testing commence”

Older, more hunger than understanding. Desperation in the cold. Worse—curious.

Small, sharp, clinical.

Dark, darkening, stagnant.

“Vitals are dropping, Dr.Simon subject 319 is going into cardiac arrest. No—massive hemorrhaging in cerebral cortex. Wait, pH dropping, CO2 buildup in blood increasing—Doctor! Patient 319 is rejecting the serum”

Silence. More silence.

“Start chest compressions, substitute IV with transfusion of Subject 254 blood. We need to stop brain deterioration and start regeneration, bring me Thompson and Shepard”

Tired, so, so very tired.

Tick, tick, tick.

Drop, drop, drop.

Tick, tick, tick…how many ticks?

“It’s—Doctor brain activity is stabilizing, introduction of Subject 254 blood seemed to have increased biofeedback processes. Wow, it’s unbelievable, I’ve never seen such regeneration in individual healing…but will there be damage”

Swish, swish, swish.

“It seems subject 319 has become a fusion, record her status ever five min—hello, Cetus”

“You have ten seconds to tell me why you spent a three-year effort on a useless subject”

Danger. Danger. Malice. Malicious. Manipulative.

“She’s not”

Small, sharp, clinical.

Dark, darker, nothing…

…

…

…


	17. Chapter 17

Running through the bushes always made her feel alive, even more when Clarke runs with her through their forest. It’s only been two years but Madi loves this sky person, she wonders why so many others don’t like them.

A low hum rolled through their forest, familiar and comforting; the metal beast purred into the clearing to her left. She remembers when Clarke first showed up with the beast, it scared her half to death and it took Clarke having to drag her towards the metal ‘Rover’ as Clarke called it. It took a few days but eventually Madi learned to like going for rides.

One of its wings opened and Clarke hopped out.

“Where are you my little _natblida_ ” Clarke’s soft voice traveled easily through the trees as she scanned the area.

Madi quickly hid behind a bush, covering her mouth to keep the giggles down.

The mirth was easily detectable in the blonde’s voice, “Little _natblida_ , it’s getting close to winter”

Madi popped her head out, her hair dragging along sticks and some leaves for a ride as she peaked under the shrubbery. Her snickering easily detectable.

Clarke folded her arms as she caught Madi’s eye and winked, her smirk shining with barely contained mirth, “It means the leaves drop little one. I can see you”

She sprinted at her, and Madi with unbridled joy squeaked at the sudden movement and sprinted away; both sporting smiles and laughing into the cool shaded forest.

…

“There has to be something you can do” A gruff voice muttered.

“Like what, she’s exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally. She’s _twelve_ , and had no one but Clarke of course she’s going to take longer to recover” Hissed another.

The voices became more and more crisp.

Cracking an eye open Madi looked around slowly. She couldn’t tell where she was, it was dark save for the light of some flame on the other side of the room.

Clarke wasn’t there, she was never there. It was a memory from long, long ago.

She must have made some sound, and if she bothered to hold her breath and listen, she’d hear her heart hammering and her mouth gulping for air.

“Hey, kid”

Hands wrapped around her, but instead of feeling comforting like with Clarke the feeling was foreign, fake even, the warm hand felt like a flame against her skin. And it _burned_. Madi thrashed away, or tried to.

“Madi? Diyoza, what’s going on!”

Diyoza held the kid tighter forcing Madi to sit up and get tucked into her chest. Bellamy was at her side in an instant, the kid’s panic forcing her to keep her focus on the kid and no one else.

“Wha—” Bellamy tried to figure out what was going on when and unwavering forced pushed him out of the way.

“Move Bellamy”

The eldest Griffin pushed him aside with a power he would have thought came from one of the older warriors like Indra. And yet it seemed to complement the eldest Griffin in his eyes.

Abby sat in front of Diyoza, caging the youngest Griffin pinning her with all her appendages, Diyoza’s larger legs crossing over forcing Madi to practically scrunch up in a fluffy little ball with as many furs as the girl had around her. It might have looked funny to them all if Madi wasn’t making such bone chilling sounds.

“Madi, take a deep breath, okay. You need to take a deep breath” Abby advised.

The girl whimpered, breath hitching harder now that she could feel the panic taking over. The voices in her head telling her she was being weak for letting her emotions run her into such a pathetic state.

She could feel her control slipping and hysteria threatening to take over completely.

“Madi” Abby said trying to get the girl to look at her, “you’re having a panic attack, just try to match Diyoza’s breathing okay?”

But the frantic eyes of the child told her that her words were barely getting through, hell they might not have done anything at all.

Abby matched eyes with Diyoza, the latter taking a slow deep breath.

Diyoza let it out and took in another deep breath holding it for about four seconds before breathing out in the same amount of time. Minutes passed and slowly, ever so slowly; in, hold, out and repeat, it seemed like forever till the child restricted in her arms mimicked her till she was only shaking quietly.

The shivering left Madi with a burning cold but she was too weak to move anywhere besides deeper into Diyoza’s embrace.

_Madi_

A gentle hand shook her shoulder and rubbed circles into her limp arm.

 

“Madi” Abby called quietly, worried for the child and terrified to lose the last connection to her lost daughter. She noticed the girl kept looking around desperately for something, for what Abby didn’t know.

 

_Madi._

The young commander heard the voice again. It was _her_ voice, she’s spent six years with her, knows her like the back of her own hand. Clarke was alive!

“C-Clarke” Madi ventured through thick spit and a tight throat, hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman who raised her since she was but a child.

Though the hope that quickly filled her chest seemed to fall in on itself just as fast when the two older women looked down at her, their faces screwed up with confusion. Tears threatened to descend from Abby’s eyes when they looked down on her.

“Oh, Madi…” Abby whispered.

A hand snaked up to her cheek, Abby was close to her face, too close. She didn’t have time for this, she needed to find Clarke. She needed to find out who hurt her, and when she did, she’d make them wish they’d died on Earth.

“Madi, Clarke’s gone”

Madi could feel her skin grow cold like the deep frost of winter on Earth, they had to be lying to her.

The two just stared at each other, Abby trying her best to keep the pressure behind her eyes from leaking down onto her cheeks; Madi staring, watching, trying to process what her grandmother said.

Everyone seemed to hold a collective breath waiting to see how things would go down.

Madi slapped the older woman’s hand off her cheek and tore her way out of Diyoza’s grasp with a sharp elbow into the snake’s jaw,

“You lie!” Madi roared.

There was no way Clarke was dead. Proof lied in her memories, Clarke’s memories, she’s lived through the Ark and its sick justice, through Mount Weather’s gilded peace, and irradiated forests filled with hostile Clans. Clarke’s lived through _Praimfaya_ for crying out loud, and the death wave, the complete isolation, and all the destruction that followed.

 

The two women got up and took a step forward, but with each step they took Madi took two back. If she was in her right mind, she’d have heard the past commanders telling her to hold her ground, to not be any weaker over blood that’s been spilled.

“Madi”

Whipping her head around she found herself looking at a guilty Bellamy, to many emotions surrounded the man who was held a hero in Clarke’s stories, they all were actually; and though she can see why they became those heroes in story their real counterparts left much to be desired.

 

“Enough” she tried to force the strength into her voice but even to her own ears there was a whine of desperation and a crack of fear. She had to get out of here, she _had_ to find where Clarke went.

The leader of Spacekru came closer but she didn’t want him, or Abby, or even the Octavia from the stories. She wanted no one but Clarke. She _needed_ Clarke.

Bellamy opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off with a wild shake of her head,

“You don’t believe she’s alive”

It was an accusation laced with fact. None of them believed Clarke, not when she was alive, none of the times she was supposedly dead changed the easy option of letting go. She wasn’t sure they thought of Clarke as human anymore, she was only _Wanheda_ to them. Just a means to the end for them.

“Madi” Tears were running down the man’s face, his shoulders hunched to far forward to feel moderately fine for any age of back; but Madi didn’t feel any concern or amity towards the man. She didn’t feel anything but disappointment from them. All of them

_Madi._

She perked up hearing the voice again, shivered against the harmonizing voices between her _nomon_ and Bellamy, but no matter where she looked Clarke wasn’t next to Bellamy nor was she on the other side of the room with the rest of the stragglers. She was so distracted that she didn’t see Bellamy kneel before her, arms pulling her into a hug too quick for her to escape.

“She—” his voice broke, and with it a crack solidified in her heart. No, she can’t let them get to her. The last time people thought Clarke died she was just in the valley with her.

The memory of gazing at the stars seemed like a distant dream.

“She’s gone Madi” Bellamy’s deep voice held no power against the sorrow and it seemed to float into nothing. “C—Clarke’s gone, I’m _so sorr_ —”

Now you’re sorry.

Something in her seemed to snap, as if all the anger that coiled in Clarke’s memories from the flame was finally released, or maybe the anger was all her own. Madi didn’t care though,

“Sorry? Sorry?!”

She shoved Bellamy away, practically stomping on top of him while she snarled over him.

“You come to my valley, my _home_ , Clarke’s _home_ , and you destroy it. Decimated—no _eradicated_ it. After everything she’s done for you, you couldn’t let her have one thing. Couldn’t let her have a place to call her own…None of you could talk, like really talk, for five god damn minutes!” she yelled.

Bellamy flinched away, “Madi, it’s not that simp—”

He was cut off when the young girl lunged forward at him pulling him by the front of his shirt, he prepared for some barrage but when he opened his eyes—when did he even close them?—, Madi was snarling, furrowing her lips in disgust above him,

“You’re right, simple would have you staying on the Ark, at least Clarke wouldn’t have gotten abandoned again, Monty and Harper would still be alive and our valley would still be standing”

She raised her head when she heard several light gasps, she looked around at the occupants.

“What” she continued to snarl, glaring at each and everyone. “none of you have made the sacrificing play, so don’t pretend like you know a damn thing, like you are _owed_ a damn thing”

She looked back down at the man on the floor and leaned down till she was right by his ear,

“Don’t think I didn’t hear what you said to Clarke _that_ day” she snarled lightly into his ear, the man flinched under her grasps and a sick satisfaction ran through her.

She would make them pay, all those who damned Clarke, hurt her, beat her. They will know the pain crossing a Griffin.


	18. Chapter 18

She opened her eyes and her vision was filled with a bluish green tint. A weightless ness surrounded her but there was nothing to feel. She wasn’t numb, you can’t be numb when you can’t feel.

Bubbles rose in front of her. Tracing down a cone like muzzle was secured around her head. Every few seconds a new barrage of bubbles floated out.

She couldn’t feel herself breathe, but she was.

A vague sense of movement was felt, her arm slowly, achingly so, came in front of her. Was she normally this slow?

Moving her hand around, examining her appendage, littered with scars and a history she did not know. A twinge of pain shot through her head but when she moved her hand to rub her head it hit something hard.

Was it her head, a continuation of this mask she was wearing? What ever it was it came to two points, like horns.

She needed to…to what.

If she guessed there was no way to get rid of whatever she was hooked up to. Raising an arm out she could barely register something halting her movement anymore, it was flat and just in her arms reach. It offered no resistance when she moved her hand up and down; when she pulled up her other arm, she mimicked what she did with the other arm. A slight curve could be determined form whatever was housing her.

This couldn’t be a coffin, at least she didn’t think coffins would leave you feeling weightless.

The twinge grew stronger in her distracting thoughts till the thudding of her head was driving her mad, when she thought her head would explode or she’d tear her eyes out to relive the pressure a hiss sounded and the pain seemed to slip away from her till even the recognition of touch evaded her.

At least the pounding was gone.

Another hiss sounded and she found herself fighting to keep her eyes open in the tinted abyss.

…

A thumping sound vibrated through her. Opening her eyes again felt extremely hard, more so than it ever should.

“Ah, good, you lived”

The curious one.

The person was a woman, voice soft yet firm, there was a strictness that felt forced to her. The woman was small, or maybe she was tall? Suspended like she felt?

“Your friend over there would stop hounding for an update, though how you made friends with Russell in such little time is something else entirely…that being said, you are up to your gills in a plethora of drugs but I still need to do some testing on you”

The woman didn’t seem to need the ability to breath, she carried her clinical speech with a practiced effectiveness that sent shivers up her spine.

“Your iron count is low, but there seems to be no ill effects from the transfusions. Until you are fully healed though you will not be released from the healing pod, lives are counting on this and yours more so than anyone else’s…there will always be someone coming to check on you every ten minutes. Do you want to go back to sleep?”

The last part seemed sympathetic, or maybe it was pity.

There was yelling behind the woman, but she was unable to differentiate words from the humming and bubbles, the scientist just yelled back at whatever or whomever was making the woman irater.

The scientist came closer.

“One tap for no, two for yes”

There was a minute where nothing happened, she just stared at the woman. A bout of pain hit again, and feeling weak she raised a hand slowly till it pressed against the glass in front of her, pulling the index back she let go of the muscles leaving natural reflex to hit her nail against the glass.

The doctor seemed to understand and looked happy that she could follow something as simple as a yes or no question. It wasn’t till the doctor’s arm disappeared and the hiss of hydraulics screamed at her did she realize she could feel the vibration of her hand and the coldness of the gel she was floating in.

The void called her again with sweet nothings and the promise of rest.


	19. Chapter 19

The night air bit at her exposed skin, the sand that seemed to flow between the trees in patches was nothing to her. Not to her lungs or eyes, not even her bloodies fingers, Earth taught her that sand was just an irritant far more welcoming when you knew you were alive to despise the little particles.

_Madi, what are you doing?_

Where is she? Madi knows she’s here, Clarke’s alive but Madi couldn’t _find_ her.

“Heda? What are you doing here, get back inside, you need rest”, a voice hissed quietly as if afraid to wake the living.

With easy Madi turned on a dime and made her way towards her fleimkepa,

“Gaia, get your mother, we’re sending out another party”

The other girl took a step back, confusion and concern washing her face as easily as the bright moon light. It was almost easier to see in the shadows than the blinding light of the two suns.

With a caution that Madi has never seen before in Gaia, the older girl kneeled before her, taking her by the shoulders and staring into her eyes as if Gaia was looking for something.

“Madi, you _need_ rest, okay. We can talk about this in the morning”

Madi ripped her arms away glaring at the woman, “No! Clarke doesn’t have the time, what if she’s hurt? Or lost? What if she’s stuck and has no one to help her out?!”

A heavy sigh filtered from the young fleimkepa, “But what if she isn’t alive Heda? Ask yourself, could Clarke live through the destruction of the forest, chained under so much weight”

Madi took another step back, Gaia didn’t understand either. No one did, not even Murphy.

“You’re wrong, Clarke lived through Praimfaya, the death wave. She’s been burned alive before!”

Something small and wet fell on to her hand, looking down she spotted a drop but the sky held no clouds or a promise of a shower.

“Madi…” Gaia could see her Heda breaking down, but knew not what to say to appease the hurt in the child. Gingerly, so as to not startle her—you should never startle a Griffin unless you are seeking death—Gaia pulled the girl closer, one hand around the back collar the other around the small commander’s hip.

Madi pushed and thrashed, hitting and scratching as Gia held on.

“No, stop, I order you to stop as your Heda”

Gaia tucked the girl under her chin, swaying lightly and humming in the best toon she could mimic from watching Clarke and her daughter.

“Shhh, rest Heda, rest. You’re going to need your strength”

The young child grasped onto her like a lifeline, her clawing halted for now, but she was shaking and doing the best she could not to let others in the camp hear her cry.

“Clarke—” Madi couldn’t contain the wet cough in her throat, “Clarke isn’t dead Gaia, there wasn’t a body”

“Sometimes there isn’t Madi” Gaia whispered into her hair, “Sometimes you never get to say goodbye, I’m sorry”

“But it’s _Clarke_ ” The little crack in Madi’s voice made Gaia’s heart hurt, she was strict in her teachings as her teacher was before her, but it wasn’t the first time that an errant thought gave her pause.

Her people take natblida from their homes and groom them into the perfect leaders, her mother was not one who liked to believe while she herself did; but Gaia will not deny some of the sickness of their traditions, but it has worked for years and is something that has proven competent…some exceptions being the Shadow commander and Ontari slaughtering those who she helped rear.

“I know, Madi. I know” She ran a hand through the young one’s hair.

This was why natblida are taken when they are young, taken from their families so the attachment doesn’t destroy them. So, they are not easily swayed by errant emotions.

What Madi and Clarke had was beautiful, complicated and bloody through the forged bond of fire and radiation; but she’s seen what this special bond can do, can see what the desperation could do. See how _unhinged_ either could become.

Clarke was willing to let them all die for her daughter, and although her own mother says she understood and could move on, Gaia found it harder to eradicate the pain.

They didn’t need Madi to snap like Wanheda did.

Gaia actually _feared_ what Madi was capable of, what would it be like if Madi wanted to ravage everything around them till she found some speck of Clarke; it did not go unseen by her how readily Madi was at fighting, nor how much the kid was holding back.

That was one thing Gaia would give Clarke credit for, she raised a survivor, possibly one that was on par with Clarke’s own abilities.

“She isn’t dead”

Gaia was to lost in her thoughts to notice Madi slip out of her embrace somewhat.

“Mad—”

“No, Gaia, I _hear_ her, but I can’t find her”

She stood up frowning at the youngest Griffin, “What do you mean”

 

Madi continued to look around the clearing, trying to rub the tears discreetly off her face as if she still had some sand or ash stuck in her eye.

“I _hear_ Clarke, but I can’t _see_ her. Gaia, I _know_ I sound crazy, but I know what to look for. Hell, Clarke told me how to differentiate between hallucinations and dreams from what is really going on around you—”

“The hell does that mean squirt”

Gaia whipped around, sword in hand as she pushed Madi behind her.

“Jesus, tough crowd” Diyoza’s smile was still as predatory as ever but there was something else in her face that had Gaia sheathing her sword far faster than she normally would.

“You okay kid” the colonel asked, pulling a crate to sit on.

Madi frowned but came closer to the person who was half the reason why her valley was destroyed. If she wanted to go out and find Clarke she needed help, and for some reason or another Clarke took to hanging out with the Eligius elite.

“Clarke’s alive”

To Madi’s surprise Diyoza only quirked a brow.

“So, you say, now about hearing your mother”

“I’m _not_ crazy” Madi defended, “Clarke taught me how to read the world when your mind is in its own”

Diyoza sat back with her head cocked to the side gesturing for her to continue.

Gaia took to another crate, on a different side than the one Diyoza was on. Heat started to travel up her back despite the cool night, this wasn’t something she should be talking about. Madi knew how miffed and embarrassed Clarke would be, and—and well, Madi saw how devastated Clarke looked when she got out of a hallucination at times.

There was no one on Earth to keep her nomon company besides her and the memories. It wasn’t the first time either of them felt complete isolation with each other around, it was actually pretty rare, but there were times…

Shaking her head, she glared at the colonel who just seemed amused, “There were times in the valley when there was nothing to eat but these berries. Berries that have a tendency to cause hallucinations even if you eat only one”

It was Diyoza’s chance to frown, she knew of the hardships faced but there was still so much that the middle Griffin didn’t tell people. And now there was a chance she never would.

Clarke’s kid was bouncing on the balls of her feet, almost like she needed to pee real bad.

“What else happened, Madi” hoping her prompting was gentle enough not to get a Griffin in their famous huffy attitudes.

“Well—um” Madi’s eyes wouldn’t look at her.

“Such words, much wow” Diyoza snorted.

“Shut up!” Madi huffed kicking the ground bellow her, scuffing it with the tip of her toe. “It’s just—I—argh!”

“Madi” Gaia interjected glaring at the snake, “it’s fine, just take your time and gather your thoughts. No good comes from rushing anything”

“Says one of the cowards hiding behind a child” Diyoza muttered.

“What was that _colonel_ ” Gaia frowned arm traveling back toward her hilt.

“Oh, you know” Diyoza put her feet up taking a bit into one of the apples she snatched. Unfortunately, it still tasted like the ash that was stuck to the back of her throat.

“Just complementing such a beautiful moon out tonight, though it is a bit weird to see a moon while on a moon, but hey! The planets are nice”

“Nice try, now how about you tell me—”

“Enough Gaia, she’s just trying to get a rise out of you”

“Spoil sport” Diyoza huffed, it looked like her quips were starting to put some ease back into the kid.

“Anyways…” Madi took to sitting on the dirt bellow, somehow it was both sandy and soft at the same time, it was a confusing feeling just like everything else.

“When we were in the valley, when it was only us, we—well Clarke mostly…” Madi sighed looking up at the stars hoping to not cry again, she’s being too weak as it was.

“I don’t know where Clarke came from, she said from a lab far off but it was deep into the wastelands. I don’t know how long she was in them and I can’t believe she survived. I remember when she first came to the valley, burning the rotting corpses and giving them proper burial. I’ve only ever ventured out to Polis and that’s a long time to travel even in the rover”

“You can’t survive without sacrificing something little Griffin, your mother knows that best of all”

Madi leaned back completely, letting the ground break the knots that formed in her back. Clarke can’t be dead, there was no reason to believe her so. The only way she would relent would be when a body is found, or what’s left of one anyways…

“Madi”

“Huh? Oh, sorry” Madi yawned, she must have gotten lost in thought. “So, I’m half wild, starved, and afraid of everything and then one day I get to close and Clarke spots me, I run and she runs after me. I trick her into a grounder trap and then steal her supplies when she passes out after sewing herself back up”

“Ouch, you Griffins, and your tough love”

Madi glared the colonel but to her surprise the woman actually looks like how Clarke would when she’d talk in the valley about Spacekru. It was hard from life but there was a softness to the edges.

“Yeah, well, Clarke doesn’t stay down long. She chases me half dead and limping all throughout the valley with that stupid stick of hers. Practically blead on every piece of shrub”

“Not a fan I take it” Diyoza drawled.

“Nor am I a fan of people interrupting story time” she huffed back.

The colonel shrugged with a smirk; the mirth very evident from the twitch of her cheeks to the crow’s feet of her eyes.

Madi sighed and rested her arm over her eyes, she didn’t want anyone else to see the tears that were starting to sprout again.

“Clarke chased me with that stupid stick, which I _do_ hate considering she used it to hobble around and somehow still able to catch me with it too. We bonded and eventually I trusted her enough to stay in the village with her. But no matter how close we got sometimes our reality would set in, I know Clarke did what she could to eliminate the isolation but—”

She couldn’t help the whimper that escaped, nor the tears pricking at the edge of her eyes.

“Sometimes it’s not enough, the mind does what it can to cope”

She didn’t know when it happened but Madi could feel Diyoza laying down right next to her now to look up at the stars, soon joined by another body that was Gaia.

“We…I didn’t understand at first, but Clarke did. The first time it happened to her she didn’t come back for _days_ and I thought—I thought she died or left me”

She was afraid when Clarke didn’t show up for dinner, well what constitutes as dinner on a completely desolate world; always wondering if she did something to make Clarke abandon her.

“But she didn’t” Gai said, squeezing her shoulder, “Your mother is a _very_ scary person when it comes to getting back to you”

Madi nodded quietly, her next words almost non-existent, “She called for everyone. Mostly Bellamy and her nomon, but she broke out of her trance and stumbled back to our home…mine didn’t start that much later. I discovered the berries’ properties and Clarke always said they looked familiar, we used them as a last resort but the hallucinations continued some days even when we didn’t eat them”

Someone rubbed circles onto her hand.

It was and wasn’t hard to remember what happened in the first few years with Clarke. Most of it was a blur but she did remember when winter came and there was a real chance of them dying of hyperthermia or starvation.

Not even the normal weather gave them a break, storms would blow over the valley shooting radiated sand into the air that seemed to last for weeks as the planet stabilized again. That was one thing Madi would _never_ forget despite her young age.

Neither of them could stop vomiting for days, even when they didn’t go outside. The feeling of glass striking the eye did something horrible, she’s surprised neither she nor Clarke are blind.

Or dead.

“Clarke found out how to break out of a hallucination if you wanted”

“If you wanted?”

Madi shrugged at Gaia’s question, “There isn’t much when you’re one of the last two humans, there isn’t much to do, might as well humor your sanity. Well, more like the lack thereof”


End file.
